The trying failure

4 steps forward. Always trying, always keeping on. Fed up with it. I have these lulls from time to time. I’m having another. They get bigger every time. Last longer.

I can easily say I have shit luck. I hate comments that say something like, oh maybe your luck will change. No it never does.
Round and round in circles. Nothing changing. Always the same.
Sofa is broken. What do I do when it completely fails?
Hoover is nearly broken. More expense.
So many things we need. No way of sorting that out. Some days I can’t even afford food. Desperate times. Always.
Things have not changed in 2 years. Not through want of trying. Please don’t patronise me. This has been my life for 2 years. 2 long hard years. I am barely keeping my head above water.
No winter shoes. Just winter blues.
Nothing changing. Always the same.
I need more time, time to sit down and try more. If I can. I try hard already. But jobs. I need one. So fed up with never getting luck.
36 and still single. Not even a date. I’ve tried.
That’s me. A trier. But mostly a failure.
Kirsty. Who tried and failed.

One thought on “The trying failure

  1. toriking says:

    Kirsty, as a girl who can totally identify with every word, I can only tell you what I tell myself.
    A trier is never a failure. If you try you’re already in the game. Maybe not winning but you never know when that day will come. Keep on trucking my lovely šŸ™‚

    Like

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