Irks me.

Sometimes I read stuff on-line  and it really does irk me. Like “solo parenting” and what a struggle it is. And “solo bedtime” and “solo bath time” I dunno. I guess as I am a solo parent ALL the time it gets to me.

I don’t think the world owes me a favour, but I have feelings and sometimes reading stuff like that makes me want to shout “I DO IT SOLO ALL THE FREAKING TIME”

Maybe see it as some one on one time with your child. Not about how hard it is, being a parent is hard full stop. Maybe stop to think about those that are doing it solo ALL of the time. Not just single mums, as there as there are single dads out there too.

I never set out to be a single mum and to be honest, all the other single parents I follow on Twitter didn’t set out for it. But for me. It was a choice I made to leave an abusive relationship. I don’t want to be single, nor a single parent. But that’s what I got right now. Unfortunately.

 

Just want to add. Many of us, single or not. Us mums [sorry dads] do most of the work, we do the bath times, we do the bed times. Even with the partner in the house. You still do it. So, if they aren’t there it doesn’t make any difference other than under your breath you’re not cursing them for not helping. The phrase “solo parenting” gets thrown around so often. It IRKS ME

5 thoughts on “Irks me.

  1. karen marquick says:

    Good post. I agree in many ways as I’ve been a single parent, but I think many mums and sometimes dads parent pretty single handed much of the time. My husband has arthritis and cant help parent as much as much as other dads. My sister in law parents single handed monday to friday because my brother works away all week, and forces parents are seperated for long periods with mums being leftto parent on their own. I think many mums, not just single, will feel your pain. I think being a single parent made me stronger, and there are some bonuses in that the way you choose to parent is completely your decision. You do a good job and are obviously very strong, I hope you can draw a positive from that xx

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    • coodababy says:

      I completely agree and that is why I get irked. So many fathers have to work full time hours to afford the family. So a lot of women or men will do most of the parenting. And I guess that’s why I get so wound up when “solo parenting” gets thrown about like they deserve a medal.

      I do know when I wasn’t a single parent, I felt like one as he never did anything to help. I spent a lot of time cursing him for being lazy.

      Thanks, I don’t think I am strong. I just don’t have a choice and have to get on with things. I would much prefer though to not be single. xx

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  2. morethanmommma says:

    Mostly people who I say this often finish with the sentence “I don’t know how single parents do it” or “single parents are so strong”

    I can see why it would annoy you. But for instance when andy was working away I did find it really hard and I was doing it solo even if it was just for a week and lord knows I like to moan so I’m obviously going to state that it’s hard work.

    No one can or will ever take away the fact that you do it alone all the time, it’s amazing. When I sit here and think about my upbringing it was just me and my mom from when she had me at 17 I constantly say to her god I don’t know how you did it!

    Your children will grow to have so much respect for you maybe not straight away buy I promise you when they have children of their own they will appreciate wht thier mom went through for them, and at the end of the day that’s more important than any parent who does it alone for a few days comments 🙂

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    • Kirsty says:

      I do have to say, I think I worded my blog wrong.

      it’s the phrase more than anything that gets on my nerves. Loads of parents whether they are married do the bathtime and bedtime routine alone.

      When Andy was away, yes you found it hard, but you didn’t bang on about solo parenting, you got on with it.

      Most partners work long hours to provide for their families so lots of them are left at home to sort the kids. it’s only a very small minority that use the phrase like they deserve a medal. It just winds me up.

      When i was with Caitlyns dad, he worked shifts so I did every bath time alone, I never thought of it, as “solo parenting” he was at work. I am at home. You just get by, and when he was home? He was no frigging help anyway. Ha

      x

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  3. karen marquick says:

    I think you are right in your wording, women have done the whole parenting bit for years, not necessarily as single women, but because traditionally women did the caring for the children. Men went to work. Its nothing new. So I agree, people shouldnt whinge or moan or expect a medal just because they bathed the kids on their own. I think probably single parents generally moan less. As a married parent I half expect my husband to do his bit, whereas as a single parent I thought nothing of doing it all myself. X

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