Me guilty? Probably. Maybe.

I suffer so badly with feeling guilty. Guilty over doing things with my kids, or not doing. I worry if I am doing enough, if I am nurturing them enough.

I look at D’arcy and I am so proud of her, she started walking at 9 months, amazing. Her level of understanding is also amazing. She is very clever and responds to commands and understands consequences, such as TV off if she does this, or does that. But her speech? It’s just not happening. I worry it’s to do with her tongue tie, and I worry it’s to do with her dummies. But mostly I worry that she is going to have special needs like her big sister. It scares the hell out of me if I am honest.

I encourage her to talk, but she gets moody. I try to read to her, she normally jumps down, takes the book and throws it. She’s not interested. We do colouring, I always name the colours, she ignores me. It’s so frustrating, when I see other kids, younger than she is talking, proper words. And here D’arcy is, and can literally say “no” “mum” “bye” “shoes” and what sounds like “see later” but not that clear. Oh and “juice” none of these words are pronounced properly but well enough for me to understand them. But by nearly age 2. She should know a lot more words, she should know colours, or some at least. If I ask her get me the pink crayon. She sometimes gets it, fluke maybe. But mostly she ignores me. I tell her one. She holds up one finger. See she knows what I am asking of her.

I guess this time around I want to go at her pace, but is that too slow? With Caitlyn, before I knew she had her needs. I literally made her grow up too fast. Sat her down to do learning, I made her grow up too quickly, became her teacher. Numbers, words, colours.  Kids need to enjoy their play I think, not be made to learn so young? After all they will spend so much time at school learning. I didn’t want to force D’arcy like I did Caitlyn. I am not a fan of pushy parenting. But then I sometimes think I am too lazy with her? I don’t know. I am quite active with her, she goes out a lot to the park, goes to toddler groups, see’s lots of other children her age. Goes to soft play. I play with her. But not loads. Only so many times I can drink pretend tea and colour in. Maybe that’s the key. Maybe it’s not enough.

Competitive parenting is much more common these days thanks to the internet. And I worry I am not doing enough when I see others do things. I can’t afford to take my girls to places every weekend. That gets to me.

They are loved and they are well looked after, but is that really enough? I just know I feel guilty.

5 thoughts on “Me guilty? Probably. Maybe.

  1. carlyemms says:

    We all worry we aren’t doing enough but the Internet is not a true reflection of people’s lives in my opinion. People post the highlights and sometimes I feel like some folk purposely do things just so they can put it on Facebook! From what I can gather from your online presence you are a very dedicated mother, the fact you worry is proof that you are x

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    • coodababy says:

      Yes, but this isn’t just from being online, this is from being at toddler groups. I see those kids, I hear them talk. I see them do things or talk about things they’ve done. Just frustrating, and sometimes makes me feel like I am not doing enough. x

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  2. Mrs nursery says:

    I think its so easy to feel pressurised, you sound like your doing a great job, getting her out and taking her to groups etc, she may just be less interested in talking than others and if she understands everything & responds when you ask her to do things, then I am sure it will come, don’t beat yourself up, she will be getting lots from the park and toddler groups, turn taking games and song bags are great for encouraging speech as she has to talk to let you know what she wants, we used this lots at work & children really responded, blowing out candles & bubbles all encourage the mouth to create movements that help to encourage speech and they respond with speech once they have done it, I always think I could do more with my boys but I adore them as you do your girls and sometimes think we get stuck on offering them things/places to go but they happy just being with us xxx

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  3. justjuggling says:

    I’m only on child number one, so I guess a lot to learn, but what I do see is each child doing it in their own way at their own time. whether this is walking, teeth, talking, jumping some take time to observe and learn from others, a friends child didn’t talk till over 2 but when they did it was a full sentence! I’m trying to chill when other kids seem more advanced (trying and often failing!) at them moment it’s nap times with us L I’d the only child in our group that seems to need 2 naps a day I was really stressed but now have decided its what he needs and wants and ill let him lead! I think they need to be able to play alone too so sometimes that’s good and sometimes playing s good! Good luck and don’t stress you’re one of the mums I watch and learn from (and then copy!) I clearly think you’re doing a good job!!

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  4. breastfeedingbattles says:

    I didn’t talk at all until i was over 2 and I now talk for a living! I don’t think you need to worry at this stage – the comprehension is obviously there, the words are starting to come. I know how hard it is to sit on your hands and ignore what’s going on around you but honestly it sounds to me like she’s getting there in her own time. You’re doing all the right things, teaching her the names of things and getting her to point to them… the actual speaking part is the last link in that chain, I believe xx

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